a travel post(amstergawdamn)

hey i thought id start writing about the places i have viseted ,giving some a sense of wanderlust for themselves,other can live vicariously through me,right?....so i lande after only an hour flight on a budget airline full of fellow scousers out to live it large in the 'dam as its known round here.i asked one guy were the train to town was this guy insisted i ride with him ,he helped me with my bags and said follow me,when we got to the station i was about to purchase my ticket,as in the uk,were they will fine that izzass if you dont have a ticket,my new friend said''you are now in amsterdam,all rules you obey or not,dont hurt anyone and noone will hurt you''.I hopped merrilly onto the express to the main square and as we travelled a fellow traveler pulled out a guitar and proceeded to sing,i mean i aint no country boy,ive seen polenty,but this seemed such a dutch thing to do.anyway we arrived my friend wished me a fine holiday ,i called jasa jawn ,to find out were her hotel was and see whether my homie jamie was in town yet.i got the adress of her hotel asked a few random pretty dutch girls and every one,with a smile in their eye told me which tram line i wanted and the crazy dutch thing when you walk up to a dutch person and speak english,you see a rotation behind their eyes and they all and i do mean everyone speaks perfect english,i later learned its mandatory from 4 th grade onwards to learn english.Anyway i found jasa picked her up hugged and kissed her and swung her around ,we went downstairs to the hotel bar with donald ,a true gentleman who bought me and jasa drinks as we chatted the talk of the close yet polite due to her stepfather being there.jamie showeed up and i was like under my breath,whats up with some buds then ?..he pulled out a gram baggie and thru it at me,beautiful,cured perfectly ,covered in crystals and it stunk,now i must tell you i didnt and dont smoke as i once did nonstop.so as donald got up said his goodnights and shouted these guys are on my tab,it only seemed sensible to stay and enjoy a couple more in the luxury of the hotel.i was getting pretty drunk and when i get drunk i get stupid some times,like as we were walking into town,it was queens day,which is like all holidays rolled into one.it was fucking packed,unreal ,yet never did i see any typical male behaviour,drunken loutishness,well except when we were smoking our first joint i for some reason put jasas hand on my umm thang,for no reason ,shes such a fucking rightous girl,shes never even mentioned i did it.i also hip checked her under a parked car,i was a drunken asshole,so there was one in town that night ,me....so i swear after that joint between 3 of us i couldnt speak for hours,i could only laugh and giggle and love my two best friends...it was so unreal that we were all together ,walking around in amsterdam ,drinking heinekin and enjoying the massive party.we made it to the red light district and jasa was egging me on to have a go,i was ,all..yeah ok,but i was nervous,id never been to a whore before but i played it cool,we walked past windows,naw,umm,jasa''shes a hottie''..im like yea but no...we strolled the hundreds of cubicles and then right in front of me ,a most gorgeous blond, i was like well if you are gonna live your life to the full ,as is my motto ,id most def have to fuck this girl and if that meant paying whatever 60 euros,i was all ,ok then lets go,so as jasa smiled and said got get em tiger or some such words,or maybe im imagining that ....maybe everything from here is a way to deal with the embaressment that followed....So i follow her down some stairs into a clean,candle lit room ,the girl walked over to me,pulled my pants down in one violent pull and my boxers to and pushed me back onto the bed.....i was like,WTF?...this was not like any sexual experience id had before,i like to play rough ,but its me thats doing it,and i love to throw a female onto a bed and i think a lot of women like to feel a bit controlled that way ,to varying degrees anyway,i was feeling kinda vulnerable,waster and i mean lit up ,in a dutch brothel my money had been taken and i lay on a bed with my pants around my ankles and i was feeling more than a little uncomfortable.so my girl walks back in ,a real beautiful girl...not really my type i think thats why i may of picked her as my type is brunettes and eyes and lips,petite and beautiful...well this girl was very beautiful but she didnt like men ,i could tell that and more than that ..man,she didnt like me.she put a condom on me using her mouth ,but honestly she neednt of bothered because between the weed,the booze and my discomfort,there was nothing going on ,she tried valiently for about 5 minutes,at which point i got up,pulled up my pants and without even looking at her ,walked out,as i was leaving she shouted'it happens all the time,to much partying!..and you know she was right but thats never stopped me before,i think the wholepower trip thing fucked my head up and i just was not prepared to have sex like that.so yea ,sad but true.so we drank till 5 in the morning and all 3 went back to jasas plush room i took the floor while them two shared a single bed...and you know what at 7;30 jasas dear mom judith came knocking,to wish her wonderful daughter a happy birthday,seeing me she ran over to my prostrate form and hugged me and told me how,lol good i looked.....anyway next day i woke before them and went to my first coffee shop,i got a gram of bubblegum and a gram of white widow....the party in amsterdamn continued i belive queens day is an annual 3 day affair and as i strolled about the early morning city smoking that superb erb...well it blurred into another all nighter drinking till it was sunny and again no troubles,not even any british idiots doing stuff to girls they adore...this is whats so funny to me me and jamie didnt even go into our hotel room until the last day,we hadnt even seen it ,we were awake and it was a blast.the last night the three amigos met for a quite drink and bite to eat and to say our goodbyes......i love those two,they both know it.
me and jamie got back at like 3 am and he had to be at the airport by 7am,i remember my last words to him were''don't fall asleep'..jamie goes i'm just gonna sleep for an hour or so .Predictabley at around 7 i hear him franticlly trying to get his shit together and go man go,he was fucked,he ended up waiting till like 10 that night for a flight back to suisse.i had to tram back to jasa jawns room as my bags had been at her room the whole time,she had left a note with the front desk saying when a frantic,grubby looking man comes in mumbling about his bags,they are in the luggage check,as ever my dear one had wrote me a goodbye note on a card.and i sat inside that lobby with tears on my face trying to tell her all what she meant to me and i was so sorry that i had hurt her by hip checking her under a car...i was just sad that ,yet again my life was going to be poorer without my sweet friend,anyway my tears quickly dissapated as i walked out into amsterdam rush hour,which i swear is all bikes,i love amsterdam,id live their tommorow,its a most beautiful place.so anyway,my abiding memory of that wonderful trip,as i step out ,wiping the last remenant of salt from my face,i saw and my eyes followed a man an old dutch bike the kind amsterdam is full of  in a 3 piece suit ,bowler hat and on the back,sat sideways in the dutch manner,was his gorgeous little daughter of maybe 6 or 7 on her way to school,uniform on and i smiled a wide smile and i looked at the closed cafes and the now silent canals and i was glad i was a guest in their fair country.for jamie and jasa,my two deepest friends.amsterdam nightsaint no joke

(c)mark halliwell 2011