i swear i dont know what to write or if this will matter to anybody but me,yet as im my target audience anyway
i suppose as ever im just gonna type until i get it all out and i hope someone somwere finds solace or compassion,or fucking anything in my words.I am lucky enough to of grown up with a friend called mitch rath,he was probably my best friend during them early high school years,he had a wicked sense of humour and was just funny ,he talked so much shit to everyone ,when we were together ,he started me off smoking weed and man we had some fucking awsome times together doing that ,hed pick me up for school every day ,joint rolled and we both had espanol together first period ,man i look back on that class ,them years and i swear i dont think i learned one lick of spanish all year,all we did was laugh and giggle ,caping on the absurdity of life,which was something both me and mitchell realised and shared ,whether we knew it at the time or not.Anyway i am so sorry to tell you that mitch got sick with liver cancer around xmas last year and believe it or not ,he was in hospital with his father and sister who all had some form of cancer,at the same time!...what a cruel twist of fate indeed.his father and sister are im glad to tell you,as far as im aware now healthy .Yesterday though hospice was set up for mitchell,i could tell you a million happy stories about us two....like all the times at his lake cabin water skiing,boogie boarding and my fave. memory,getting stoned and floating on floaties soaking up the summer sunshine and just hanging out with my friend...he was a ruthless son of a bitch ,without doubt and me being his friend didnt preclude me from his razor sharp tounge...but high school passed on and for a few years i lost track of mitch but hed always through my parents find me ..in seattle,in colorado,in california...wereever it was it seemed id hear from mitch sooner or later...when i returned home to minneapolis after many years away i was so proud to find out that my friend had opened a guitar shop in uptown(hipster neighborhood) and he built,fixed and sold guitars,thats another thing i forgot to mention about mitchell he was in bands in high school and we were both into music,although our tastes varied,i always knew music mattered to mitch,this was enough for me...so by now as any of you know me i had developed some bad habits by now and whenever i needed a place to crash,i many times knocked on his door past midnight hed let me in get me pillow and blankets and give me refuge...i hope i thanked him for that,hever preached ,i know he must of hated what i was doing,yet his friendship overrode any thoughts of not helping me when i reached out...in the same way ,i knew mitch had had some problems in life,fuck dont we all and mitch was one of the few people who was scripted for xanax and id always ask him for a couple,and hed always nod to the cabinet and my couple was always more like 5 or 6 but my friend,he knew i needed to blot out the pain i was feeling and as ever he hugged me or whatever and we parted...this is were it gets hard for me ,but in the nature of this blog,ill reveal,although me even saying it and reflecting,fuck my friend is the one who could tell me about problems yet anyway........
about a month ago ,i lost a female id been with and cared for ,the very day she let me know,mitchell tried to IM me,and me,being to preoccupied with my own pity party could barely give my dear friend the time of the day,i just rertead the convo .and it makes me want to cry,that id of let a woman who did not want me,that id let him go sos i could speak to her,fuck,he even mentioned his cancer and i did not even let that snap me out of my self obsessed state of mind.....i wrote him a email this morning,telling him what i remembered and how ashamed i was by my behavior towards him.knowing mitchell hell forgive me and as always accept and love me warts and all,i remember mitchell,i remember it all,all those good times,the small things.i was and am proud to be your friend,i wish you all the strength and peace of mind in the world,in his sisters blog,she said mitch had accepted and felt peaceful about were he was..mitch ,my brother,i love you man...i mean that,i would of said it before you got sick ,but that just doesnt seem to be how life works..im gonna try calling you today,as you always would call me and i just want you to know,i am so glad i was your friend .you are one hell of a guy.rathawello....bless you my friend ,and all the strength you need to make it back were you came.returning to the fold..im gonna play a song for you,well mainly for mee ..i posted a led zep song on my facefuck page for you,yukk....but it reminded me of you and times spent.misspent youth etc..i wouldnt change a thing,except,you would be healthy and happy.........again mitchell,i love you man,mark
(c)mark halliwell 2011
i suppose as ever im just gonna type until i get it all out and i hope someone somwere finds solace or compassion,or fucking anything in my words.I am lucky enough to of grown up with a friend called mitch rath,he was probably my best friend during them early high school years,he had a wicked sense of humour and was just funny ,he talked so much shit to everyone ,when we were together ,he started me off smoking weed and man we had some fucking awsome times together doing that ,hed pick me up for school every day ,joint rolled and we both had espanol together first period ,man i look back on that class ,them years and i swear i dont think i learned one lick of spanish all year,all we did was laugh and giggle ,caping on the absurdity of life,which was something both me and mitchell realised and shared ,whether we knew it at the time or not.Anyway i am so sorry to tell you that mitch got sick with liver cancer around xmas last year and believe it or not ,he was in hospital with his father and sister who all had some form of cancer,at the same time!...what a cruel twist of fate indeed.his father and sister are im glad to tell you,as far as im aware now healthy .Yesterday though hospice was set up for mitchell,i could tell you a million happy stories about us two....like all the times at his lake cabin water skiing,boogie boarding and my fave. memory,getting stoned and floating on floaties soaking up the summer sunshine and just hanging out with my friend...he was a ruthless son of a bitch ,without doubt and me being his friend didnt preclude me from his razor sharp tounge...but high school passed on and for a few years i lost track of mitch but hed always through my parents find me ..in seattle,in colorado,in california...wereever it was it seemed id hear from mitch sooner or later...when i returned home to minneapolis after many years away i was so proud to find out that my friend had opened a guitar shop in uptown(hipster neighborhood) and he built,fixed and sold guitars,thats another thing i forgot to mention about mitchell he was in bands in high school and we were both into music,although our tastes varied,i always knew music mattered to mitch,this was enough for me...so by now as any of you know me i had developed some bad habits by now and whenever i needed a place to crash,i many times knocked on his door past midnight hed let me in get me pillow and blankets and give me refuge...i hope i thanked him for that,hever preached ,i know he must of hated what i was doing,yet his friendship overrode any thoughts of not helping me when i reached out...in the same way ,i knew mitch had had some problems in life,fuck dont we all and mitch was one of the few people who was scripted for xanax and id always ask him for a couple,and hed always nod to the cabinet and my couple was always more like 5 or 6 but my friend,he knew i needed to blot out the pain i was feeling and as ever he hugged me or whatever and we parted...this is were it gets hard for me ,but in the nature of this blog,ill reveal,although me even saying it and reflecting,fuck my friend is the one who could tell me about problems yet anyway........
about a month ago ,i lost a female id been with and cared for ,the very day she let me know,mitchell tried to IM me,and me,being to preoccupied with my own pity party could barely give my dear friend the time of the day,i just rertead the convo .and it makes me want to cry,that id of let a woman who did not want me,that id let him go sos i could speak to her,fuck,he even mentioned his cancer and i did not even let that snap me out of my self obsessed state of mind.....i wrote him a email this morning,telling him what i remembered and how ashamed i was by my behavior towards him.knowing mitchell hell forgive me and as always accept and love me warts and all,i remember mitchell,i remember it all,all those good times,the small things.i was and am proud to be your friend,i wish you all the strength and peace of mind in the world,in his sisters blog,she said mitch had accepted and felt peaceful about were he was..mitch ,my brother,i love you man...i mean that,i would of said it before you got sick ,but that just doesnt seem to be how life works..im gonna try calling you today,as you always would call me and i just want you to know,i am so glad i was your friend .you are one hell of a guy.rathawello....bless you my friend ,and all the strength you need to make it back were you came.returning to the fold..im gonna play a song for you,well mainly for mee ..i posted a led zep song on my facefuck page for you,yukk....but it reminded me of you and times spent.misspent youth etc..i wouldnt change a thing,except,you would be healthy and happy.........again mitchell,i love you man,mark
and yes,i know that morality and mortality are two diffrent words,i just liked the song,anyhow....be happy,yall
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