Monday 22 August 2011

2 cattle rustlers for shannon 1969-2001

After pages and pages of self involved shit.poor me,bad her,fuck the world,lonely boy blues.....my thoughts turn to my partner in crime shannon.We were the butch cassidy and sundance kid of minneapolis grocery stores,rising early with the sun to beat the sickness that was mos def in the mailand get a jump on them corporate cattle sellers.fillet minion 12.99 lb etc.Byerlys,Lunds,Cub Foods you treated us real well.I took shannon under my wing ,my crooked wing and showed that greenhorn how to be an urban cattle rustler like mw.He was an eager understudy,learning quickly how to reposess the finest cuts.From there it was straight to the working class bars of notheast minneapolis were the drinkers were waiting for the 'steak guys'.....1/2 price on the label ,you know the script,id bag into 200 ,30 40 dollar bags and wed beat it before the owner even noticed wed been in.Most of you would call me a scumbag,fair enough,looking back ,im sure not proud,but this was written when i was a full on user,so my thinking was a bit diffrent.back to our heros,wonder what their doing?yea,scumbag...i probably am but im also quick and fearless and smart enough to hit em again and again and again with profits so deep ,youd think i was lying or making it up or hate me more...fuck if i wasnt broke every single morning though,shit.The thing is shannnon and me were tru blu ,full fledged dope addicts and the choice of withdrawals or a little shopping,as we called it,hell,that was no choice at all.i'll keep our technique a secret cause thats how it is .shannon bro i regret driving you so hard,getting so pissy when you sold a bag for five dollars short,id jump all over him saying''there ARE  no price breaks dig?'' the whole deal is the break ,fuck!
so,we'd hit the lick go over south and score some lethal chicago dope,the gangs from chicago came to minneapolis and doubled their profits.so we scored,pulled over like two lil kids opening xmas presents ,giggling like a couple little girls!-procurement complete ,cause when i put a spike into my vain ,i tell you things aint quite the same,closing in on death ,and you just know,heaven or hell or nothing is so close,you can feel its breath on your neck.i remember one day getting a hit that brought us so very close to the edge of the abyss and we loved it''fuck,thats the only way i wanna feel man''says i''man if i dont wake up in an oblong box,it was not quite enough''shannon
full of junk fuelled confidence we ran and stole and fucked anyone over who we could and also did 1001 thing i wont tell you because im ashamed,tell me thats not fucked up.All i ever had or cared about is gone,all my friends give a fuck about a junky.Im tired ,im disgusted,my spirits gone,my soul is dead,my heart beats black,my brain is dull.my life is death.My tamara is gone and the fact that i cant get to grips with ,shannons dead man..hes dead,had a funeral,was creamated and his ma flew him to hawaii and threw him into pela the goddess of sons,all before i knew you were gone,today may 22nd,2001.My iron bride still controls me and says shell always be their for me to bring me solace and peace in a unfair world.....like when my friend dies in his 20's...like when the girl i loved with every sweet and sympathetic soul in my body tells me she cant stand me any more...what the fuck am i supposed to do,i only know of one reaction to it all.die a little myself and im content in my room.some of you think im just bad,me and shannon and our ilk gave a fuck what you think
you yuppie_you bastard
your ciggi_your drink
i know this you can keep all your bullshit,all the fake things-lovers lie,they always do,to smash your soul to bits,friends dont care and why should they as i care even less myself...i know these things.so for now i.ll put on my strange wings-and do my bad things.

this was written along time ago i have had my heart broke so very recently and feel the need to grow now,my tendecy to wanna escape,to just cease to be ,they follow me,im lucky i came thru the middle of the valley of death and left a lot of my friends their....just for today im clean,i aint no 12 stepping sucker either.i just got old and wanted to try to live instead of trying to die.......rip shannon ,i miss you my friend. and new york and tex and jen and franni and that kid in rehab from boston.and paul.


mark halliwell 2011

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