Tuesday 30 August 2011

how mudhoney got my ass beat(although after all these years i still love em)

so i used to push a little rabbit GTI,silver with a tuning chip,it was fast and to be honest i have loved german cars almost exclusively because of owning that car.So ,as ever im looking back thru the prism of my life ,as all tales told must by their nature be storys from your past,right?.....so one day i thought it would be a great idea to put a mudhoney sticker on my back window,to seperate me from all the squares out there,you know,oh yea and it said at the bottom in distinc letters'hate the police' which was one of mudhoneys signature sounds which of course was a cover from the dicks.so all good life goes on ,one night metallica were playing in the arena downtown and although by this time i wasnt really convinced by their schtick anymore,i strapped on my doc martians and i believe this is were the trouble began(btw anyone notice all the young kids wearing docs again,almost brings a tear to my superjaded eyes)but no,i jest the trouble began im sure with the copious amounts of some whisky im sure i was imbibing like a alcholica i was,plus the buds and if i remember the LSD to,god ,what a fuckin mess i was ...and i swear i will tie all this up together soon enough.so me and my sisters boyfriend chris went banged our heads as we were want to do back then ,we leave the concert in an metal fuelled mob mentality i remember hundreds of people walking thru the center of the gity walking over cars,in their hundreds just pure teenage spirit etc. so we get back to my car and ....fuck,its gone,my fucking car is gone....i was so pissed off,eventually i see a sign mentioning the fact any dumbass who parks here will be towed to so and so blablabla.....So we go down to the city compound and i am still really fucked up ,sure enough they had my car and being the lovely guys they were only wanted 150 dollars to get my car out,i in my wisdom said something like'' i bet you get a lot of people wanting to shoot you''and walked outside and waited,and waited...it seemed they were taking an awful long time to bring my car out ,meanwhile i hear sirens wailing,loud ,but seeing as we were in north minneapolis home of the AK's and all that i didnt give it much more thought,until them po -poppers came sliding in starsky and hutch style,stop about 50 yards from me,get out and all drew down on yours truely,with their glocks and shoti's it was one hell of a shock,lemme assure you.so i get thrown across the hood of my car which had been wheeled out beyond the gate ,i said jesus fucking christ! and one of the pigs goes one move outta you and youll be seeing him anytime now,this concentrated the mind and sobers you up real quick ,i remember feeling the 9mm barrells against my head and also from my vantage point ,looking down at their fascist boots i realised they were all standing on packed snow,or ice as some may call it.
So i get thrown in the back of the police car ,as they search my beloved VW for weapons,of which their were none ,i still didnt understand what had just happened to be honest but i did realise what wa shappening as one copper walked to the back of my car and saw my mudhoney sticker,oh shit......he called the rest of his stormtroopers around the back and they stood their looking mighty outraged ..then with his flashlight,one i was to get to know quite closely,scraped my sticker off,u know ,amerikkka ,land of the free and all that...so one really nice cop comes back and starts asking me if i got a fucking problem with the police,and with every other word he hit me real good in the groin with the aforementioned flashlight.id say he got about 20 good licks in and then all the others leave leaving me and the nice cop and his partner....bottom line they drove me into the middle of the hood and threw my ass out at like 2 am ,i walked back to my car,theyd rolled it back behing the gate so hey,hey another 150 please.i kept my big mouth shut this time...meanwhile.....'hate the police'....oh mos def i fucking do.....

(c)mark halliwell 2011

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