its midnight in the UK.00;00 o clock ,the withching hour and when i used to think i did my best writing,i got a feeling im going to blow that theory straight to hell with this post,as i have no agenda,absolute blank page,i thought i had something to say ,its just a feeling ive had inside of me now, a familiar feeling,a hollow ,emptiness inside were something is missing,do you ever feel this void,ive realised of late that this gnawing hoolownes,well i remember feeling it strongly and distinctly in 9th grade,and the only way i can translate the feeling ,funnily enough is thru colors...it was black,pure light consuming black.Now in my mind i can rationalise and realise i have much to be thankful for,because i am alive and i am healthy,i have people who care for me,some people would even go as far as to say they love me,not as many as id like to believe,im sure....youre going to have to excuse the rambling,nonsensical nature of this post,although i write that feeling ,as i always do that nooone ever reads my words,and if they do,i still write more as an exorsism ,or some would say an exorsism in reverse maybe???who knows.so news flash ,sometimes i feel unsatisfied,like maybe things are pointless,if i look at my life ,its easy to see were these feelings arise from my situation.....if my life caught a few breaks ,my mood would lighten considerably...until then ,ill keep on ,because as anyone who knows mitch ,whos struglling to holld on to his last grasp of life....their is nothing more precious,more sacred or sacrosanct than life and the people in your life,ive saw the most wonderful outpouring of love for my dear dying friend,its such a shame,and im as guilty as most ,that we cant show our friends such love and concern,tell them how much they mean to you in everyday life,but maybe thats wishful thinking from someone many of you know as a total cynic,a sarcastic bastard,but like anything its a mask i wear,to deal with people and the world....i told you id disprove my theory about writing at midnight,as i feel for sure ,this is some weak assed navel gazing,self involved bullshit....youll have to forgive me,im just mentally vomiting against the wall,expelling the sickness and seeing what sticks,its all toxic,this is just what remains.......somtnsyde........markuss at midnight......next time give him the skip,lol...........anyone who reads this.i hope youre heart is bright and hopeful....i want everyone to live and love and always be true to yourselves...im sure ill delete this in the morning,but im really not that smart.masochistic mark :)...peace out
(C)mh 2011
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