love kills slowly

so i have just been talking to a friend of mine,hes had his heart broken for the first time,well by a woman i guess he has...funny as he broke with his female right when i was also expired i talked to him then trying to talk him away from ,whatever he did ...just dont try and get her back,hes a young man,good looking,smart ,funny and makes mad loot ,so he was all yea man,i took solace in helping a young man go thru what is without doubt the worst thing to of happened to most people..anyway i talked to him he went back and tonight hes still wallowing back in that ol heartbreak ,were as ,yes im sad that ,whats her name is no longer in my life,i shared 3 years with her,to me good times and yet since im older i got over it pretty much as normal...heres why i can relate to my friends plight is because i to once was a young man in love?and it ended ,as it always does and ,to be honest it ruined my life..i cant blame the girl,it was my choices,my sadness ,my needs,my fucked up head ,my soul took me were i went.and for my homie joey ....this is my first broken heart and the places it took me.
ok,i will give you a small bit on meeting her and being together ,as we spent over 5 years together on and off.so i was living in steamboat springs ,Co.and as anyone who knows colorado will tell you ,its a hippy old place.i was a 'never trust a hippy boy' and so when i bought music it was ordered in for me,u know?
so im in their ordering 'bakesale' by sebadoh ,not even paying much attention to anyone ,and the girl behind the counter started to chat with me,like about music,plus i got them feelings from her,you know the ones i mean ,like electric crackle..so i left,went on with my so sweet mountain life and one day i got a call from the record store and it was the same girl,she asked if it would be ok to call me sometime,im like sure,yea...what the hell,she seemed like sexy enough.so anyway we go out on a date i fuck her ,badly...god...anyway she hung around a bit and i moved away for the summer ,when i was gone i started writing her 10,20 page letters,i really missed her and couldnt wait to get back for next season for all the same reasons,to ride,and this new girl,i was stoked,moved back and trolled the bars looking for her,i hadnt told her i was coming back,wanted to surprise her...anyway ,shed went home ,like the day before i arrived.....whatever,whatever,we spent two years together then moved to denver wed been smoking heroin like every few months,and drinking and popping pills,she was a bad alki and i was a garbage can ,id take anything......big fight and i leave and go to san diego,and the pain was so that id decided i would kill myself,i pulled over in utah and stood at a cliff ,i couldnt muster the courage to do it though.so to san diego ,were i started injecting the dope,as it took less,my frinds said,and i was broke so who was i to complain,it nullified my pain,i couldnt even remember that girls name,let alone feel the pain that lived in every cell in my body,i was their a few months and got word that my friend had called my ex and shed said ,flippantly''oh,hes gone to california to kill himself or something''...that made me so angry and so unreal shed of thought so little of me that my life meant nothing to her,so i believed her,i guess i already had..and dove headfirt into a sincere dope habit.took me to seattle,to pheonix,to denver and back to minneapolis.
i lived high risk,i really could not see living another year ,let alone a future and to be honest it took me 10 years and loss of everything ,including ,friends,freedom,my country and my self respect and my future,it stole my future off me...so,my advice to my friend was whatever you do,however you feel ,dont bury your feelings in drugs and booze,as you can wake up way ,way down the road and regret much.true dat.